Monday, December 22, 2008

268 Days Sober

One never ever truly overcomes an addiction. An individual only learns how to better deal with the emotions and intense desire to satisfy that craving. One learns to hold themselves back. One learns discipline.

No matter the situation, a person is never the same after addiction.
Even if they tried to get back to their everyday - doing the same things they did before everything happened - they will never feel the same because they will never be the same. The void, no matter how big or small, will be forever felt and never filled.

It's been 268 days.

I can let go of it as much as I want.
I can do what I do best and go ahead and try to run from it.
Or do what I do better, face it straight ahead risking even further injury.
But it doesn't matter what I do or where I go, because it will always find me.

But today is different from yesterday, because today I can do what I could not do yesterday. Today, I can see the beauty of what was, even in all its ugliness, and appreciate what it has given me: the opportunity to know that no matter how deep a hole I fall into, I will still have the strength to claw my way out, the humility to dust myself off, and the grace to keep going and move on with my life.

2 comments:

Errant Gosling said...

Congrats on 268 down. I'm not at 1 yet.

floreta said...

have a friend sober for 4 years. she still misses/craves it and how her life used to be. she hasnt really found a good emotional replacement yet.. i worry about her. congratulations and keep it up..