I was going to write something beautiful and elicit...yes, that does exist...but I don't remember what it was. It's 3 in the morning. I just got home from getting drunk with boys who wanted to know the philosophical reason boys like dominating girls and I came back with the question as to why girls want to dominate boys - because, with the right amount of trust, nothing else can even come close to true splendor. My thoughts are clouded with smoke and whiskey - also known as sex. At the moment, my mind is completely preoccupied with penis. That sounds ridiculously vulgar to say to a vast void of people I don't know, but oh my god is it true. This third adolescence has picked the wrong city to control me in. It makes complete sense to me now as to why I was annoyingly happy the first time I lived here - I had the gift of orgasm every day. And not merely the oral sex orgasm, even though that is one of the best treatments received (jesus christ!) but the you're-inside-of-me-and-I'm-fucking-you orgasm. I was never stressed. I was high and satisfied. I felt wet from birth.

God, am I thirsty.