Sunday, November 30, 2008

To give or to receive...that is the question.

For most of my courting age, I've driven in the slow lane of the dating road.

A self-proclaimed serial monogamist in heat, I saved all of my sexual arousal for relationships and never dated anyone because I didn't want them thinking they'd get anywhere because I knew they wouldn't.
That was before.
Now is a different story.

So now that I'm "dating" (I use the term oh-so loosely) I'm discovering (but not from experience because I've haven't gone completely off the cliff) that there are men who don't like eating pussy. Excuse my vulgarity but I didn't know a polite way of saying it without losing the emphasis I needed.

Boys: Don't you know that if you eat pussy, and eat it well, you can get almost anything?
It's like when a girl gives you the best head you've ever had, you're puddy in her hands. hehe.

Every man I've ever slept with has been all about eating pussy; all day, every day, twice a day. Even the one who was out of practice dove right in there (after I asked why he wasn't attempting it) and tried his best.
Luckily for them, I enjoy giving as well as receiving so the scales weren't unbalanced. :)
So, of course I'm saddened to learn that there are men out there who could just live without it.
The worst part? These are the men who still want blow job after blow job.

I can't speak for all women, but I am speaking for those who feel me, if you want me to blow you, then you need to eat me.

And I mean eat me until I come.

Put forth the motherfucking effort that my orgasm deserves.
Why? Because my orgasm should be as important to you as your orgasm is to me. I am committed to creating such a vibration of sexual energy in your body that you explode and crouch over in pleasure.
"Oh fuck! Oh fuck, Joey! Fuck! Joey! Fuck!" <--I let that memory play in my head over and over again when I want to remember what a good girlfriend I've been.

So, in closure, if you don't eat pussy, or don't do it well (just because you're down there doesn't mean you're doing a good job), please veer away from me.
I will only hurt your ego...unintenionally, of course.
I am past the patience part of my sexual life to wait around for someone to learn as I train them.

So to all the men out there I say: Please, practice. practice. practice.
Not for you, for us.


Cee said...

I totally thought this post was going to be about Christmas presents when I read the title.. haha

surviving myself said...

But wait, eat what?

joeygirl said...

cee: i tried to keep it in the holiday spirit. :)

surviving myself: i don't know what to say...cosmo and glamour would be disappointed in you - you know since you are such an avid reader of both.

Akirah said...



Your Girlfriend is Ugly said...

I hear what you're saying. But I'd rather skip the appetizers for both people and go right to the fucking.

Sorry. No other polite way to say that without losing my ephasis.

joeygirl said...

awww...yes, sometimes that is the only way to go.