Friday, November 21, 2008

relationships as a traumatic experience

People - even strangers - who share a traumatic experience are forever tied.

The individuals either bond for life because no one else understands their trauma or must keep separate in order to not re-live the emotional distress which occurred during said experience. And to add insult to injury, many develop symptoms of Posttraumatic Stress Disorder.

So, if this sort of intense linking or separating can occur between strangers who spent mere moments together, then isn't it likely that people who share the intimacy of a long and heavy-hearted relationship be subject to the same theory?

Add to that the widely believed idea that when 2 people have sex, they share and exchange energy. Multiply that by x amount of time together and the energy becomes and stays connected. Now this may not be true for every relationship, for each is like a snowflake, individual and unique, but it can be used as a blanket statement for tender, caring, and reciprocal loves. For this reason, it is said that breaking up and moving on from this type of relationship may be more difficult than in other circumstances. Some choose not to have sex with anyone for a long period of time while others may seek out sex as an emotional band-aid for the one they lost.

So, what happens when sex and trauma go hand-in-hand?
Does the healing period for this type of traumatic experience extend longer for these two as they heal their broken connection from one another and mend themselves whole again?

I hadn't thought about this in a really long time and wasn't thinking about it today, but I was flipping through channels for background noise while I read my new book - The Song Is You - and ShopGirl was on. It was the last 10 minutes or so. In the end, they share pleasantries the way most people do when the relationship ends on a sour or sad note; just courteous and cordial. Then the closing monologue wrapped it up so perfectly.

"Some nights alone, he thinks of her.
And some nights alone, she thinks of him.
Some nights these thoughts occur at the same moment, and Ray and Mirabelle are connected without ever knowing it."

And that was me being random.
I'm done.

1 comment:

Geraldo Maia said...

Hello joeygirl,
It is a great pleasure to visit your nice and interesting blog for the first time.
Best wishes from Brazil: