I wish I could remember how you'd lay behind me and press your face into the back of my neck and inhaled me.I wish I could remember the first time you walked in the bar and into my life, just as hesitant as I was to give in to what we could both feel was there.
I wish I could remember how you left work, came to my house with flowers and laid in bed with me because I was sad.
I wish I could remember how impressed you where with me when I showed you the beats I made.
I wish I could remember how I felt when I saw my name spray painted on the side of a building on the train ride home.
I wish I could remember the feeling I used to get when we talked on the phone almost everyday for a year after only meeting once.
But all I have left are passing memories from moments that used to be my life; the fragments of actions and emotions that were then all I could think about and now barely realize happened at all.
Time...it's a beautiful thing.
Through it we experience situations twice, as we live it and in hindsight 20-20 when we can see it more objectively. It's amazing how something that was once "your everything" can turn into something that holds almost no emotional weight.
With time, I've learned that moments are to be experienced, appreciated, and let go.
The only constant is change, and I'm ok with that.
In fact, I'm in love with it.
I ride it like the swells of the sea, for only a moment, but that moment stays with me...even if I don't remember it.
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