Who would've known that pulling a book off the shelf would answer a question I quit trying to answer?
I reached out for "The Alchemist" by Paulo Coelho and looked to find information on where the author is from. I scanned the back cover and it said where he lived, so I then opened the front cover and was surprised by the writing I recognized inside the flap: it was Mark's.
My mind had completely lost the fact the he had given me this book.
I hadn't seen his writing in years and all of a sudden I was flooded with images of all the notes he used to leave me - another fact my brain had misplaced.
I began to read his dedication when I felt the weight of emotion settle heavily into my chest. The dedication said a few things, but it wasn't until I reached the middle that I actually cried - it said:
"I love you so much and you are my best friend".
No wonder I never understood why people said relationships are hard. I had never experienced a relationship where this wasn't the bottom line. When I finally did experience it, I felt like I was losing my mind - no consideration, selfish motives, hardheadness. No fucking wonder people always bitched!
So, why didn't it work?
Because we were not friends.
And that's that bottom line.
Thursday, February 26, 2009
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4 comments:
Insightful. I've always been suspicious of my relationships that claim to be friendships instead. They're almost always not.
And, I love that book. All parts of it except the cardboard girl who waits for the boy. :)
i love that book too! funny how these triggers can instantly bring us back.. :(
this has got me thinking though when i used to tell my ex he was my best friend. and he didn't seem to like it... he said we were more than that. it was almost like it offended him! yes, i suppose he most certainly was NOT my friend. sad but true.
hey if you don't mind i mayyyy link you as an inspiration to an as yet unwritten post...
i'd be honored, floreta.
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