Dating…perhaps the world’s biggest fitting room. I recently discovered that dating is like trying on clothes, particularly shoes since they’re the trickiest. They can look so good on display, but you won’t know how they’ll fit or feel until you actually try them on. And, after careful thought and review, I’ve come to the conclusion that there are 4 types of people (which to I will refer as shoes) out there: casual, dressy casual, office/work, and fancy.
1) The casual shoe is the most basic piece; it goes with almost everything. It’s nothing special really, just one of those things you have around because you haven’t tossed it yet. Doesn’t cause much trouble, but doesn’t excite much either. No fuss, no muss.
2) The dressy casual is a step up from the casual and primarily comes in the form of your cute suede flats that give your jeans a girly, feminine feel. It’s the one article that separates you from the boys. They’re fun, easy, and never let you down.
3) The office/work shoe is that sad pair you have because of some sort of code you had to abide by. They are bulky and only serve a functional purpose; why those are still in your closet remains a mystery.
4) The fancy shoe is, of course, the heel. All heels: the pumps, the platforms, the sexy strappy heels you put on when you’re feeling, well, a bit frisky. They are the ultimate in femininity. They’re extremely easy on the eyes, but not necessarily on your soul; yes, I spelled that right.
Now, let’s break down these shoes as people...
1) The casual shoe is that person you hooked-up with a long time ago, but kept around because, as it turns out, they’re pretty cool…even if you really don’t use them anymore. This relationship is totally platonic; no more flirting, no touchy-feely moments, nada.
2) The dressy casual shoe is yet another person you hooked-up with a while ago, but not that long ago. You maintain a fun and flirty relationship with them because – let’s face it - they still look good. Because they’re good, but not a star, you’re not necessarily looking to put them back in the game every day, but if you’re in a tight situation, they’re your safety.
3) The office/work shoe is basically the one you took for the team. You didn’t really want to do it, but they were there and all your friends were there and you decided to try it out. Afterwards, realizing that’s not what you’re about, you quit, but, somehow, they’re still around.
4) The fancy shoe is that juicy piece of meat you just want to sink your teeth into. This one you bring out as much as possible. You can’t get enough of this shoe…even if they do pinch your feet and you curse them to hell for causing you so much pain. You will take it and like it because they’re so fucking hot. These are the best shoes you’ll ever have.
All of these shoes/people serve a purpose in our lives. We either pick that shoe or become that shoe. It’s just the circle of dating we go round and round in because we won’t know what we like until we try them all on. It’s a trying-on of different types of people, if you will.
Now you ask, “But which style is the perfect fit?”
Well, my friend, that is entirely up to you.
*written in 2007.