Tuesday, March 11, 2008
I got into blogging when I was living in New York after moving there on a whim led by an overwhelming and consuming infatuation. Blogging became a sort of release of emotions and self-indulgent way to let everyone know what was happening to me - good, bad, or indifferent. I spent most of my time in New York on the endless streets that lead to nowhere in particular and everywhere in general. That year was an inner struggle with myself that manifested itself in my relationship. I'd never given up so much of myself to anything before and I teetered on the line between loving it and hating it so fighting it became a way to regain who I thought I was. Needless to say, I went through a lot of unnecessary heartache - most of it brought on by yours truly for not letting go and saying no when I should've - and I've been walking a long and hard road filled with self-reflection ever since. And though that year was filled with extreme highs and lows that would make even a truly manic person crazy, I'm thankful for the experience...it taught me what I thought I always knew about myself, that though it may get me in trouble from time to time, I run with my heart and not my head.
Now I'm trying to apply a little more of that good old logic to that side of the scale, maybe then I'd find a better balance and level out a little of the crazy :)