the grand finale

One day
When the expectation has long dissipated into the monotony of the everyday
My undetermined path will cross with his
And not at all being able to see what is happening around me
Or to me
His patience will be good to us
Because he will see
and he will know
and, more so, he will understand
I walk through this world with a heavy heart
scarred by the past that carries regret, disappointment, and those ‘what if’s?’
and without ever seeing it with my own eyes
because I chose to be blind long ago
He will be the one
because
One day
I will come home
And he will slowly pull away at the armor I wear
Lifting the burden I consciously chose to bear
And piece by piece
The fear will fall
All the way down
Down to the floor by our feet
And as each piece crashes into the ground
a symphony of sounds it will create
each note playing
what in the end
will be our song
and as he caresses my face, as if for the first time
The waves of infatuation will rush over us
Subsiding to the love that will remain
And we will rock gently through the night
Mouths touching and tongues caressing
Creating the energy that can only be created
When two people are in love
And accept it

the blank canvas

White

Untouched

But, not perfect

This platform doesn't achieve beauty until its space has been violated

Until the creator steps up with a brush

Starting one stroke at a time

Carefully choosing from her palette

Colors that harmonize in storytelling

Those which come alive when combined

Because this woman can create a masterpiece from even the blankest emptiness before her.

hello

I got into blogging when I was living in New York after moving there on a whim led by an overwhelming and consuming infatuation. Blogging became a sort of release of emotions and self-indulgent way to let everyone know what was happening to me - good, bad, or indifferent. I spent most of my time in New York on the endless streets that lead to nowhere in particular and everywhere in general. That year was an inner struggle with myself that manifested itself in my relationship. I'd never given up so much of myself to anything before and I teetered on the line between loving it and hating it so fighting it became a way to regain who I thought I was. Needless to say, I went through a lot of unnecessary heartache - most of it brought on by yours truly for not letting go and saying no when I should've - and I've been walking a long and hard road filled with self-reflection ever since. And though that year was filled with extreme highs and lows that would make even a truly manic person crazy, I'm thankful for the experience...it taught me what I thought I always knew about myself, that though it may get me in trouble from time to time, I run with my heart and not my head.
Now I'm trying to apply a little more of that good old logic to that side of the scale, maybe then I'd find a better balance and level out a little of the crazy :)